Trust Yo'self / Imposter Syndrome

If you're reading this, you probably know that I competed in the USA Triathlon Age Group National Championship this weekend.  I was very happy with how I did.

It might not have gone as well as it did though.  I learned an important lesson this weekend about trusting myself.

About a month ago, I was very lucky to have a friend lend me Zipp wheels (for non-cyclists: wheels that make you really fast).  I had them put on my bike before the New York City Triathlon.

I noticed pretty immediately that my bike was making a weird noise while I was riding on the wheels.  I thought it might be my brakes, so I brought my bike back to the bike shop, and the mechanics assured me that this wasn't the case.

So I kept riding, and kept hearing the noise.  I competed in the NYC triathlon, and did much worse than I expected to during the bike ride.

The following week, I had someone else check out my bike. Again, I was told it wasn't my brakes.  So I kept riding.

I shipped my bike to Milwaukee, and my bike was still making the same noise when I arrived. I asked the bike mechanics there to look at my bike. They couldn't solve the problem, but assured me it wasn't my brakes.

At this point, I figured I had trained all year and spent a ton of money getting myself and my bike to Milwaukee, and that I didn't want to just ignore the noise again. So I adjusted my brakes myself.

And the noise was gone.  

Then I raced, and got my fastest bike time ever -- by 5 minutes.  That's a lot of time to drop.  Clearly I had been riding with my brakes rubbing for the last few weeks.

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I realize now that I was suffering from a bit of imposter syndrome: I thought that the bike mechanics would know more about my bike than I did, and that they were more qualified than me.  I couldn't possibly be the expert in this situation, right?

In reality, I've had my bike for three years and know it very well. I own three different bikes. I have a huge bike tool kit.  I know a lot about bikes and how they work. I should have trusted my gut earlier and just fixed the problem.  But I trusted the bike mechanics more than I trusted myself.  

Of course, I'm glad I figured it out before I raced on Saturday. 

I think I'm pretty confident and that in most situations I can act on my instincts and expertise, but this weekend was a great reminder that I've still got work to do on myself.

My Bike = My Joy :)